This special blog post is dedicated to my 16-month-old twin boys.
They have started going to kindergarten. I am back to full-time work. So, it’s a kind of transition phase. My kids are adorable. I feel blessed every single day to be a mother of my boys.
But no matter how perfect it looks, I must say that it’s not at all easy. Your life takes a 360-degree turn after you become a parent but with twins, I don’t know how much degree it turns? 360 degrees twice over, may be.
Myth Buster – Here are few things I hear quite often:
Myth#1: “Oh! You have twins? Great, you are done in one go. You don’t have to do it all over again.”
I kind of hear it quite often. But trust me, it’s a myth! I have to do everything twice, and that too back to back. So, technically I am doing it all over again, every single waking moment.
Also, raising a second child is much easier as you are more experienced the second time.
And, I believe that your first child becomes slightly mature in his own way when a new baby comes home. I have seen it with my sister’s daughter, my darling Zoie. She is just 5 months older than Viren and Vivaan. But she behaves like a big girl when she is around them. And, it’s so fascinating to see her like that.
Myth#2: “Your Twins will play together, you will get free time”.
You might think that when you have twins, they play with themselves and you get free time. I also believed that. But it doesn’t happen at all.
You have to engage with both of them and sometimes in two different ways. When both want to play different games, you have to kind of juggle between two games to make both of them happy.
Myth#3: “You do not have to take a career break again for your next child”.
This is what most of us think. But it is just half-truth because in twin pregnancy you have to take a longer maternity leave and post-delivery break.
With twins, you cannot take just a maternity leave of 2-3 months and get back to work. It is difficult to find somebody who can take care of your kids without your help. Your family will also find it difficult to handle both without you being around. There is a constant need for two people (at least) around the kids.
So, you have to wait till your kids’ starts going to school (kindergarten), which is minimum 1 year.
Also, most of the time, a twin pregnancy is difficult as compared to single pregnancy. So, you have to stop working much before your delivery. In my case, I was on complete bed rest in the last 2 months of pregnancy. So, technically, my total maternity leave was for 16 months.
Myth#4: “You children will learn the virtue of sharing”
We think that when twins grow up together, they learn to share things but “Sharing is caring” is definitely not what kids understand, at least not till they turn 5. No matter how much we want them to play with different stuff, they end up fighting for the same thing (even if they are identical).
So, in my house, we have everything in duplicate. And it applies not just to the toys but also with any other things, say keys, spatula or your mother’s mole.
Reality – Brings Smile to My Face
But, no matter how hard it is, twins bring double the joy
When they do cute little things together, I fall in love with them all over again.
When both hug me at the same time, I forget all the pain and hardships.
When I see both of them sleeping next to each other (exactly in the same pose), I can’t get my eyes off them.
When both wake me up in the morning, I feel so blessed to start another day with them.
My priorities in life have changed at least for next few years when my kids need me the most.
Here are what have changed professionally:
- I schedule a client meeting according to my kids’ school time, sleeping time or ‘Play with daddy’ time.
- I commit to the deadlines based on my limited working hours.
- Earlier I had weekends to cover up my pending projects, but now I hardly get time on weekends when my kids don’t have school.
- I have to take leave when kids are unwell, or for their pediatrician’s appointment, or they have a holiday in their school.
- I am not able to reply to emails instantly on the phone when I am around my kids, as I prefer them not engaging with my phone or any digital medium yet.
But, life is all about accepting changes and making the most of what you have. So, I make the most of the time that I have for my work and enjoy rest of it with my kids.