Most of the working moms are in a catch 22 situation. She wants to take a complete break from her work for a few years to give full attention to her newborn. But, at the same time, she wants to continue the work for which she has given her heart and soul for all these years. It is sometimes difficult to let go of something which is a part of who you are!
In most cases, it also does not make sense in the real world to take a complete break for a few years and then start from the same point. Industry changes every day and it is difficult to keep up with it if you are not part of it. It usually takes a while to be at the same pace as you were a few years back. So, most mothers resist taking a break more than the given maternity leave.
But, here comes the role of ‘choice’ and ‘priorities’. If it is your ‘choice’ to take a break of a few years, it would end up being the best decision of your life as you will enjoy every bit of it. At the same time, if the decision is not by choice then it will never benefit your kid in any way no matter how much effort you put in.
Anything you do by your choice is correct, no matter what- be it stay at home mom, freelancer, part-time employee, full-time employee or an owner of a company. ‘Choice’ is the keyword here. Listen to yourself and make a choice that makes you happy from inside!
…and that’s what I did!
I took the decision to be a working mother. Some days are great when everything falls into place beautifully. Kids go to kindergarten happy and come back happy, I have a nice and productive day at work, no fights with husband on little things, dinner tastes yummy, and kids eat well and sleep on time.
But, not every day can be a perfect day! So, here are some of my life rules that help me get through those ‘not-so-perfect’ days easily:
1. Prioritize ‘day’ rather than ‘life’:
We all know that it is important to set your prioritize rights. But, can we just go black and white here? Not really! If you are equally committed to your work and family, you cannot be sorted all the time. So, my mantra is to ‘take one day at a time’. I prioritize my ‘day’ rather than ‘life’.
For instance, if my kid is not well but I have a very important meeting at the office, my husband takes the call and stay back at home with the kids. But, there are few days when kids need not just a ‘parent’ but a ‘mom’. Then, I give priority to my little ones over important stuff at work because I know someone can replace me at work for a day but no one can replace me as a mom even for a minute 🙂
So, to sum it up all, I do not make a strict rule like ‘whenever my kid is sick I will stay back home’ or ‘whenever I have a very important day at work, I will leave my kids to their dad’. I prioritize each day as it comes!
2. Learn the art to switch on/off:
This is a difficult art to inculcate and everyone should try to learn it. I must confess that I am still learning it. Hope I master it one day!
When you equally love your role as a mother and as a professional, it is hard to switch on and off. It is tough to not think about the one role when you are playing the other. But, over the years I realized that it is all in the mind.
Whenever I am in that Dilemma, I tell myself ‘Don’t worry, you are at the place where you are needed the most”.
So, all I do is to keep talking to myself and stop my mind from being at two places at the same time. Because then, I will end up being nowhere!
3. Guilt should have no place:
And finally, the most important thing – Never feel guilty of aspiring high in your career. You can be a hands-on mother and a great professional in the same life. You do not need to re-born to play the other role 🙂
If you are determined, nothing can stop you from achieving all your goals – career goals, motherhood goals, relationship goals and above all happiness goals.
But, in order to achieve these goals, you have to make the extra effort every single day of your life. You might have to forgo a few hours of luxury sleep in the morning, skip watching some of your favorite television serials or miss some get together with your buddies. Because if your life goal is to be a working mother, a few scarifies comes with it in a package and you have to embrace it!
You as a woman is capable of balancing the things. So, push yourself and be at your full potential. It may be difficult to be a ‘perfect’ working woman but you can definitely be a ‘happy’ working mother.
As a mother make the choice and work towards it. Because if you lead a life that you chose, then you will be content and blissful.
And remember, your kid wants a happy mom not a perfect mom!